Those people. The people. Him.

I love him more than anything I have ever loved before. I know bliss. I know what it is to love someone more than life, more than anything. He will always be my truth and without him, I believe I cannot exist anymore but would wither away into the dry, bitter earth that is reality without love.
But it can be dreadfully painful. I live a double life, really. While my thoughts are always wrapped around him, I live outside in the everyday world. He is my mind and my soul but I live most days without his touch. It devastates me and sometimes I am irreconciably melancholy.
It was a good day. I got my birthday wish and I learned so many things. In the class I am taking, I always walk away with my head in the clouds. It targets the questioins that have morally and even physically agrravated me since childhood. It's funny how sometimes you meet people and immediately know there is a kinship. I felt that way with Adam and I felt that way with my professor. She is incredible and has been through unbelievable experiences with the church. To know her personally feels too good to be true. It's like knowing the queen of England or something.
I would say that the two most influential people I have ever known I have met in these last two years. Well, wait. Jen is one as well and I have known her over 5! Anyway, these people are utterly priceless to me.
Am I writing me and I too much? I believe so.
But the blog is about me, right? So, maybe that's okay. This isn't a blog. This is my public journal that I really suspect will never be read by anyone. But there is so much pleasure in just opening this page and seeing my writing so prettily solid on the page. If I died tomorrow, this would be far more tangible than the 7 or so diaries that lie on the shelves downstairs.
I suppose that's enough for one day. I just love him. I love him more than I have ever loved anyone. And it feels good to tell the world-though no one listens.