The Bad Teacher

Today was useless. I actually skipped class today to read my book. As pathetic as that sounds, it is even more pathetic that I didn't get that far in the book. Today was spent with Simoun. He has been here all day and I see him trying so hard to make things better but we have so many problems. Everything he says pushes my buttons. Just now, he sits with the baby and is saying things like: Mommy doesn't look at me but if I were somebody else she would. He is mumbling ot himself because he wants me to give him attention rather than write. I have been giving him attention all day and here he acts like a child.
ENOUGH talking about it. I feel bad for him and yet I cannot push the feelings away. He becomes obnoxious. He never chews with his mouth closed. He snores. He says things every other minute to annoy me, accuse me or simply to reject me. I try to talk to him and it is like talking to a nun. "I am God's chosen and do no wrong. You are the problem, dear, you."
On another note...or two...I feel my energy draining. I am trying to get up more, do more things, be more productive. The Army taught me that many more things can be done in a day than you can possibly imagine. So, I try. But there are days when depression saps me and I lie in bed for hours, sometimes all day, just to deal with the sadness that consumes me. Sometimes getting up seems too much. I will admit that today was very near one of those days. Very near. Adam was supposed to come over yesterday and he couldn't and really, it broke my heart. He can do that effortlessly.
Simoun and I have two years. Or less. We are breaking up! I can live again! One day I can live again. Because right now we are both miserable and hateful. Two years. Simoun is singing that to the baby. Two years, two years, two years. Gag.
We are exhausted now.
Mia's teacher called and says, "She is having trouble reading. She is not with her peers." I said, "She is sitting here reading with me right now and we were just talking about how great she has become." The teacher goes on to tell me Mia just can't seem to improve to another level and really I wanted to hang up the phone, get into my car, drive to the teacher's house and bitch slap the hag. Mia, having overheard everything, went into her bed, pulled the covers over her head and cried. Teachers are nasty antagonizers. I have had this experience before where I marched up to Eric's teacher and said, you shouldn't talk about him as if he is stupid while he is around. She said "sorry." But this time, it was just me standing there defending my beautiful daughter while her teacher continued to tell me how far behind Mia is and Mia caught wind of what was going on.
Poor Mia. Sometimes being a mom is heartwrenching.