Screech........

So, he is back. And when I look at him, I feel flushed and passionate. I want to touch him, all the time. I am weak. The other day, when Alexis decided to take pills to end her life (and predicatably failed) I gave up but never really because in my mind I know that I cannot stop. I know that the moment I set eyes on him, I will be irretrievable. But I lose myself. I have forgotten what I wanted and have become so absorbed in my spiralling emotions that everything I dreamed of before all this has dissapated. I am watching myself from the sidelines. I don't know this person that can love so relentlessly.
For certain I know that this power cannot last forever. One day the old me will slide back in place and will I regret all this time, pleasure and pain? What am I sacrificing and is it all worth the nimble highs and lows? Does it matter? Because they are out of my control anyway. But I do not want to lose what I cannot retrieve. I lost eight years with Simoun. I do not want to lose any more time.
My sister's step daughter staged a suicide attempt. I am so angry that my sister is allowing herself to stay in her relationship and that her life is so ripe with emotional and psychological disease. This little teenager is poisoning every single day of my sister's life. She is little by little becoming inalterably bitter. I imagine her as the old lady swinging on her porch swing and eyeing all the little children who pass her sidewalk. "Get off my lawn!" This is going to be the end of her if she doesn't back away and reflect on her life.
Well, back to the Spanish lessons. I am studying a little each night so that when I return to school in twelve days, I am not the class idiot. This is my last semester of my Bachelor's degree. I almost dont' give a damn. I don't care about the grades, but just want to pass.