PAXIL sucks.

Today I had a borrower deceased call and I hate those.  It was a mother whose 26 year old son had died and she could hardly talk.  I had to ask her horrific questions such as...."where was the funeral home" and "what date did he die" and "what city and state" and so on and so forth.  It is excrutiating.  I could hardly contain my quavering voice and the tears.  I hate those calls.  The mother sounded as much as dead herself.  I cannot imagine the grief.  I don't want to. 

I also haven't been taking my wonderful, wonderous, ever-helpful PAXIL which always tends to make me bleary eyed and over-emotional. 

PAXIL WITHDRAWALS:

Crying
Shaking
Quivering guts
Vivid dreams (with excellent story lines)
Rapid, disconcerting thoughts
Nervousness and severe anxiety...wait...that's normal
Inability to control emotions that are already overwraught and dramatic (see above)
Fatigue.  Terrible, terrible fatigue

In short, I need to go home and take that godforsaken remedy for OCD and panic that I have suffered from my entire life.  I thought about possibly telling those stories because it might help people.  The way I suffered from OCD when I was young.  It was devastating.  It was unlike anything anyone could imagine without actually suffering through it.